Burning Down Neverland
by CliffieMaster
Summary: It burns and hurts and tears a hole in her chest to mimic the one in Aeris's stomach, and there isn't anything Tifa can do. ::Slight ReTi:: Oneshot


Cliffie: After reading a crazy lot of ReTi and Reffie fics over the past few days, I concluded that I wanted to do dark!Reno instead of happy!Reno. I usually do the latter, since I saw him first in AC and that's how I've always associated him. But the darker side of him is just so interesting, and it makes a more sense, considering his background and whatnot. So yes. This will be more in line with the FFVII version of Reno, and I'll probably do more like it (although I refuse to give up comical Reno too :P).

The title comes from an Anberlin song of the same name (no own). Just as an FYI... it's friendship between Tifa and Aeris. Friendship. 'Kay? :

Warning: Contains spoilers for FFVII.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of the characters. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

The bottle is smooth in her hand. Smooth and corrosive and stinking, but she tosses back the liquor anyway. It burns all the way down, just how she likes it. Just how she needs.

Tifa always closes the bar on this day. Always, always, because she can't stand to see anyone on this day. Not Cloud, not her patrons, not anyone. She has to deal with Cloud the day before -- she doesn't really trust him by himself, and she can't stand to see it eat away at him anymore than it already does -- so she deals with it then. She goes out into the desert with him, and doesn't scold him for driving too fast, and they usually spend the entire day in silence. They always go to the desert, because he can't stand to look at any water. She isn't allowed her own mourning on that day. So she takes the next for herself. She closes up and goes to the church where she spends the morning walking around and fixing little things to keep her hands busy and sitting next to the water and trying to _feel_ her. Then she holes herself in her room and cries for a while. When it feels like she can't stand it anymore, when it feels like her heart is being torn in two and there's a great gaping hole in her chest, she staggers down to the bar beneath her room and finds a bottle of whiskey. It hurts and it's fire, but she drinks as much as she can.

The bell above the door jingles softly, and Tifa lowers the bottle. She can still taste the liquor on her lips. She curses for not securing the lock properly.

It's dark outside, leaving only weak moonlight to illuminate the figure. She hadn't realized it was so late. Not that she would have lit candles or lanterns. One does not need to see to get drunk.

"Hey, Lockhart."

His voice, suave and cool and pretty, she supposed in her half-drunk state. Reno. Stupid, stupid Reno.

"Go the hell away," she says, words rough on her throat. They sound only slightly slurred. "We're closed."

He whistles softly as he entered and kicks the door shut with one shiny-black shoe. "What? No bar's ever closed for a patron."

"This one is."

She doesn't remember when he first started coming around and she doesn't care. She doesn't hate him, even though perhaps she should, especially today. She can't bring it up within herself to hate him.

He wrinkles his nose as he comes closer and frowns. His eyes dart to the bottle, then to her leaning wearily against the bar and looking like shit.

"You've been drinking." It isn't a question.

Tifa cocks an eyebrow. She's starting to feel more than slightly tipsy, so she doesn't try to move. "I'm allowed to if I want to, Reno."

"I know that." He speaks and moves calmly. "I just thought you didn't."

"Not usually," she admits, avoiding his eyes. She loves his eyes. Green and deep and murderous, in a way, but that's not why she loves them. She can get lost in them easily enough, and he takes pleasure in that.

"Then why today?" He swings onto the stool before her, grabbing the whiskey bottle before she can stop him and taking a long swig.

She hesitates. "Today is... different."

His eyes, hooded slightly, stare piercingly at her. Then he sighs, and shakes his head, and leans back. "I'm not stupid, Tifa. I know what today is."

She stiffens. "Then what is it?" she challenges. She doesn't believe him.

His eyes never leave hers. "It's the day after the anniversary of Aeris's death."

This is why she never lets anyone see her. Because someone will be bound to say her name, and Tifa can't take that. She bites her lip as tears rise high and blinks and tries to push them back. She looks away so he won't notice.

He does anyway. Sighing again, he rises and heads for the small kitchen behind a door. "I'll make some coffee. Go sit down before you fall over."

Nodding wearily, too tired and fuzzy to fight, Tifa walks to a table and heaves herself onto the top. With her feet on a chair, she places her face in her hands and breathes shallowly.

Tifa hates people.

When Reno returns with a cup of coffee, she's finished off the bottle and weaving slightly as she sits. She keeps her eyes half-closed as he sits next to her, letting her lean into his shoulder so she won't fall over. He's warm and solid and smells like smoke.

"Here."

He wraps her fingers around the coffee mug, and Tifa lets the warmth seep into her. She doesn't attempt to drink for several minutes, instead just leaning against Reno, her head near his, and wonder why he's being so kind.

"Why don't you mourn on her death day instead of the day after?"

He's not nice, really, but blunt and harsh and it eats Tifa up inside. He lights another cigarette, breathing evenly and deeply.

"Because," she whispers, close to tears again -- she's always teary when drunk -- "he needs me."

Reno snorts in disgust. "Who, Strife? You're a damn fool if you care enough about him to give up your own mourning for her."

"I mourn with him for her." It's a lie and he knows it.

She takes a long sip of coffee. It's too hot and bitter and burns her tongue.

"And then you take a day for yourself to cry and mope around and get yourself piss-poor drunk."

"Pretty much." Another sip of coffee makes her head clearer.

"You're a fucking idiot."

She doesn't look at him but at her hands and the black, black coffee. They remain silent for a few minutes, neither moving except to breath and drink ashes and coffee. When she's finished, Tifa puts down the mug and begins to swing her legs slightly. She doesn't move from against him.

Her boots hit one of the table legs. _Thunk, thunk, thunk._

"Hey, Reno?" She gains enough courage to look up at him. "Do you think death hurts?"

He stares at her in a way that says she's incredibly stupid, but she doesn't look away. "Of course it hurts," he finally says, blowing smoke into the air above her. He doesn't bother to blunt his words. He never does. "What do you think it's like? Roses and fields and sweet-sung songs?"

She sighs and looks down, at her scarred hands and scarred heart that know too much and tell her she's just as much of an idiot as he says she is for even entertaining such a though. "No, I guess not. But it's a nice way to think of it."

"Sure, Lockhart. Whatever you say."

He blows more smoke into the air, and Tifa's feet hit the back of the table softly.

_Thunk, thunk, thunk._

"Hey, Reno?"

"What?" He doesn't sound annoyed, and he's not leaving. Tifa doesn't know if she still wants him to or not.

"Why do you come here?" She's never asked before. She knew it would only cause trouble if she did when he first started coming, but now she can't help it.

He smirks. "Because you've got a pretty face and a nice ass."

She giggles, unable to stop the sound from bursting out, giggles and giggles until she's crying. Deep, hard, tearing sobs that make her want to throw up and just get rid of it all. The hole in her chest is back, like a counterpart to the hole in Aeris's stomach, and she's crying so hard she has to cling to Reno so she won't fall, only she's already fallen.

He lets her, and he doesn't complain when she gets his shirt wet, but he doesn't make a move beyond that.

When she's too tired to cry anymore, when she's spent and leaning wearily against his chest and smelling the foul smoke and ashes that linger, he softly says, "I'm sorry."

It's the most she would ever get from him and more than she had expected and she isn't even sure he means it, but she nods slowly anyway.

"I know."

Moonlight and the smell of ashes and his body heat and the stink of liquor are all around her, and all Tifa wants is Aeris back.

Only she's not coming back, never coming back, so she'll always take this day after the anniversary of her death, and she'll get piss-poor drunk and act like a fucking idiot because there's absolutely nothing else Tifa can do.

* * *

Cliffie: Well, that was awfully fun to write. I think it's actually one of my personal favorites. :D Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed it Please review!


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